I’m scared

We have always been told we should dream big, we owe it to ourselves. I often see wonderful visions of achievements playing in my head. But I’m scared to begin.

© Marco2811 fotolia_42188917

How to start…writing

I’ve been on a ramp of covering all the fine Oscar nominated movies for 2015. I watched The Imitation Game, a wonderful movie on cracking the Enigma during WWII. Boyhood– made over 12 years of growing up. And then I watched Selma, on Martin Luther King’s struggle for equal rights for the African-American. I read his world acclaimed speech, ‘I have a dream’ only two years back ( ye, guilty) and it moved me to write a blog post. Now again, I can’t help but be deeply inspired by King’s work which started when he was all but 26 years of age. It is wonderful to work towards something you deeply care about, succeed at it and be remembered for it.  I have a dream too, but I don’t know how to begin.

A lot of people are good at talking about their achievements and painting positive ideas and thoughts (which is great thing, hands down). It’s just that I’m deeply frightened of beginning and branching out. How do you start? When I tear up the internet to look for inspiration, I see leading bloggers, freelancers and coaches who have built huge businesses from nothing. I see artists who started with humble beginnings and have slowly but surely conquered the world. And I think, “well of course it worked for them. They are sociable, likeable and talented. Everything I’m not.” If i were to use a simile, I’d say I’m like a crab that  comes out and tests the waters when no one’s looking. If I had to use a metaphor, I’d be the storm which you feel is coming, but you can’t see. And sometimes I’m also the running shoes living in a box for the last two years. The shoes have a purpose in life, to run. It will be instrumental in the weight reduction program of the person who wears it and uses it. It’s been two years since it first ran. And it will run, by God it will, someday. Perhaps, just not today…

I’m all of the above. (Also the shoes example is real. I have a pair of black Adidas shoes with pink lace that I wore only once.) I am an introvert and I don’t like always having to make conversation. I am a writer but I don’t know if there is enough talent. And I am scared…to begin. A lot of people, as do I, recommend taking baby steps– break them down. Hell, even I said that in my blog post. But I just wanted to mention that I’m not the perfect diva who shares bloodline and genetic skill with the likes of Salman Rushdie and Arundhati Roy, neither am I the life of parties, or the social butterfly who flutters from flower to flower. I’m an average person who is worried of starting out. But you know what? J.K Rowling is a well-known introvert. Albert Einstein was a genius who enjoyed company that consisted of no one but himself, which propelled the Theory of Relativity. Agatha Christie was rejected for FIVE years before she went on become a world famous author and since Susan Cain’s book, Quiet, ‘we’ have become the new ‘cool’. Oh, well. I like the sound of that, I suppose.

So, in conclusion to being afraid, starting out and setting goals, here’s what I plan to do for now. 1. Two queries to leading publications every week 2. Two blog posts a month 3. Two new followers per post (there I’ve said it) Do you battle with fear? If you would like to drop some advice or even voice your thoughts, please feel free to do so. Oh, and Happy republic Day!


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